Monday, October 20, 2014

Life Lessons

I am not responsible for how other people perceive me.

This is a lesson I am still grappling with. It goes against my very nature. I am a people person; I love being around people, learning from them, and sharing with them. I am naturally a person who loves to make others happy. I worry for people and I tend to spew affection onto my loved ones. When they return this gesture, I am filled.

Age has taught me a hard lesson. No matter how nice you are, no matter how much you love others, no matter how much you strive to live peaceably and beyond reproach…there will come a time when someone will not like you. Sometimes it may be your fault. Oftentimes there is something you can do to repair it. But there will come a time when it is not your fault and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

Nothing. You. Can. Do.

This is the part I struggle with. I want to fix it. I want to understand it. I want to dig deep into the wound and pinpoint whatever tiny splinter began the quandary and pull it out. I will work at the relationship tirelessly. I will communicate…and communicate some more…and over-communicate to the point of self-abasement. I will bleed out my heart and bare it, dry and cracked, desperate for the balm of understanding. This is my nature. This is also my blunder.

It is not my job to make people like me. It is not my job to force them to understand me and accept me as I am. It is my job to love them. Pure and simple. Love them. Regardless of how they treat me, regardless of whether they appreciate me. It is my job to treat them fairly, with kindness and respect. It is also my job to follow God and obey His calling, even when doing so may upset others. When they fail to see my heart, mistake my intentions, and even choose to slander me based upon their own false views of who I am. This hurts. It has happened to me, and it hurts.

What I have learned in the depths of that pain is that I must give the controls to God. There are some things I simply cannot fix. As much as I want to, as much as I feel I NEED to. Sometimes, I must give it up. I must pour out my heart to my Father in Heaven, lay the whole ball of humiliation, misery, and helplessness at His feet, and know that it is now His. He will take the load. He will bear the burden. I need only follow Him and live as He asks, and He will consume all the hurt feelings so they no longer eat me alive.

This is so hard for me! I always wanted to fix it. I wanted to force it to work, with my own power and resolve. But that is not what God wishes for me. All He wants from me is a life surrendered. An unclenched fist that relinquishes my control. He wants a heart that chases after Him freely, with no loose ends. This sometimes means letting go. Accepting that you will at times be misunderstood and disliked. Doing all you can to love others more than yourselves, and seeking reconciliation. But when the other party refuses to rectify, accepting their stance and leaving it to God.

You are not responsible for how other people perceive you. Sometimes as Christians I think we get it in our heads that if we are “good” Christians, everyone will like us. But one look through the Bible quickly checks such thinking. Look at the prophets. Look at the disciples. Look at Jesus himself! They continually dealt with the outright hatred of others. Being a faithful follower of Christ does not guarantee that you will be liked, understood, and treated fairly. It merely means that you will not let the opinions of others deter you from staying on the path God has given you. From becoming the man or woman He has called you to be. From sharing God’s truth, even when there’s a risk it may offend others. And it means you’ll do something truly outrageous – in the face of disrespect, slander, bullying, and even hatred, you will not retaliate in kind. You will simply love.

So the next time you feel someone has an unfair problem with you, first check yourself. Be honest and examine your heart and your motives. Pray that God would reveal anything you may have done, and repent for it. Ask others you respect to review the situation and expose any wrongdoings they believe you have done. Seek to reconcile with the person, and ask forgiveness for what sins you have done against them. Be willing to humble yourself. But if after that they refuse to accept your reconciliation attempts, and continue to dislike you, let it go. Give it to God. Forgive them even when they fail to recognize or admit what they have done. Remember that it is not your responsibility to make others like or understand you.  In the midst of their disregard, pray for them, love them, and (sing with me, now) LET IT GO!

Love always,
Monday, September 29, 2014

Change is good, but I still don't like it much.

One of the struggles in my life and in my walk with Christ has been completely letting go of the plans I had and simply allowing God to direct me as life unfolded. I knew His plan for my life was FAR greater then what I had on paper, mostly because I heard it a billion times in church. I also read it in the bible. Still, I struggled. 

For some context, I was the type of girl who had her whole life planned out, on a calendar and everything. I made list, has a schedule and even a chart ha. If something didn't go that way, I would have an anxiety attack. Being spontaneous sounds cute and all, but that's just not me. I not very fond of surprises, being late or things being out of their place. I like order, structure and routine. I know, I know, when I say it that way I sound crazy, boring or both! But I'm not (ok maybe just a little). Trust me when I say I have come A LONG WAY.

Planning, scheduling and organizing give me such a rush! I'm not even joking when I say that I look forward to buying a planner for the new year coming up. Its like a holiday for me! I even do my research -___- haha I'm sure I'm not the only one here, right?

On my last post, I shared a bit about how I struggled with moving out of my 'family home' and into a new apartment with my husband. Its been the greatest change for me yet! Being married with my husband felt so natural, but leaving behind my old life at home wasn't.

Its month four at our new apartment and I JUST got comfortable. Well, bye bye comfort. My amazing God has a great sense of humor and He decided to open a door of opportunity we just could not resist. The chance to own our very own little home <3 It literally happened from one Sunday to the next! There were tears again, mostly tears of joy.  

Moving was exhausting! I am sore in places I didn't think could get sore! haha My husband and I couldn't be happier!!! Our hearts are just overflowing with gratitude. I always feel SOOO blessed and favored by God, but there are some moments where I just feel COMPLETELY spoiled!!! I'm just such a daddy's girl and I love being His princess.

Change causes us to step out of our comfort zone and that is never easy. Change might mean a variety of things from person to person, but its important for us to remember that Christ will never leave us nor forsake us. Every time things change, I have the opportunity to see the mighty hand of God in my life and my faith only continues to grow. I may cry, pout and complain for a bit, but I know change is good for me. Things didn't turn out like I thought, they turned out even better!!! I may not know what the future holds, but I do know who holds my future.

Our new home <3

P.S., Y'all know I LOVE me a good project! I am super excited for this new adventure of turning our simple clean mobile home into a Chic Cozy Cottage!!! <3 ahhh (this means time, work and money and my husband’s not excited about that) lol Ill be posting pictures of all the DIY projects as I go along :)

Blessings xoxo

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Wedding talk Wednseday

ahhh to be married... <3
(Click HERE to watch our wedding trailer)
I love being married other than for the obvious lovey dovey, mushy gushy reasons that we all dream about. Most of all I love being married for the most amazing reason, knowing that the Lord is pleased with me and that together we are living a life for Him.
During the six years that Carlos and I dated, we were never apart for more than 24 hrs. At the end of each night when it was time for him to go home, he would kiss me good night and every time I cried. I longed to be with my love and best friend 24/7. Being married is everything I ever dreamed of and more! The first three months, however, were a bit tough for me. Even though I was finally with my beloved, I struggled with guilt and the thought of being away from my family. There where nights I would just stay up and cry and I didn't want to make my husband feel bad so I did the best I could to hide it. Eventually, he found out and when he did, not only did I feel guilty and sad, now I felt like the worse wife ever! haha but my husband never got upset, never made me feel worse, he just held me tight and kissed me all over my face. Every time my husband comforts me, I love him even more!

When I think of marriage, now more than ever, I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance..."  I cannot think of a single day where these verses weren't put to the test. I have been married four months now and in that time I've learned just how flawed I am and how desperately I need Jesus. Marriage has humbled me, brought me to my knees and has shown me how undeserving I am of Christ's love.
As wives and ladies in waiting, we have to remember that there is NO perfect man and there is NO such thing as a perfect relationship. Yes, Carlos does hurts my feelings, yes Carlos gets on my nerves (I'm sure I get on his nerves too, rarely ha) and yes, sometimes we bicker about the smallest most insignificant things but we have to remember "love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." We are called to forgive each other just as Christ forgives us every day.
When I think of being a wife, I constantly remind myself of 1 Peter 3:5, "For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master." This verse does not sit well with my flesh, for I have a mind of my own and often think of myself and my ways being right. But God instructs us as women to be submissive, to listen and obey our husbands. We must deny our flesh each and every single day by desiring to please our husbands which in doing so brings glory to God and honor to our husbands. 

I encourage you to read Proverbs 31:10-31 each and every single day. Our aim as wives should be to bring our husband's honor and these verses tell us exactly how we can. Practice being selfless, practice putting others before yourself, and never stop spending time reading and studying God's word. Proverbs 31:15, 18 reads, "She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household..her lamp does not go out at night." There will be nights where you are the last one to go to sleep because you are still cleaning, ironing your husband's work shirts for the next day, and preparing for tomorrow. You may have to wake up hours before your husband to seek the Lord and to have breakfast ready for him, but all of this is done in love because we were created to be their helpers. (Genesis 1:18) We were created to make life easier for them so that they can do more for Jesus. 

Aim to be the wife, God created for your husband. Pray for them daily, respect them, and love them unconditionally. 
"What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."
Matthew 19:7
Friday, September 12, 2014

Faith & Fashion- Does it really matter what I wear?

As women (and men), clothing and our appearance are some of the most powerful and important means we have of sending a message about our hearts and our values. Our clothes speak tons about who we are, so what are your clothes saying about you? Unfortunately, this issue represents an area where too many Christian women have accepted the secular world’s way of thinking.

We must remember that the Lord doesn't focus on our outward appearance, its what's on the inside that matters most to Him. Our main focus SHOULD be on developing our inner beauty, but being modest in your appearance is JUST AS GREAT a witness to those around you as your words. Modesty in dress reveals a godliness of the heart, an attitude that should be the desire of all women (and men) who live to please and honor God.

For us to better understand what constitutes modesty in dress we must take a moment to examine the attitudes and intents of our heart. If your heart is inclined towards God, then you will make every effort to dress modestly, decently, and appropriately. If your  heart is inclined towards yourself, then you will dress in a manner that's designed to draw attention to yourselves with little or no regard for the consequences to themselves or others.
Ladies, we NEED to take a different approach to appearance than fitting into society’s idea of beauty. We cannot preach purity and modesty to others while wearing revealing clothes. As women, we should help our brothers by dressing modestly. Mathew 5:27-29 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart". When we dress immodestly, it can lead them to commit the sin of lust, and this is displeasing to God. Of course everyone is responsible for their own actions and in this instance, women are responsible for dressing modestly. Men are responsible for their thoughts.
I'm not saying you should be covered from head to toe haha I just want you to understand that you are worth more than cheap attention. You were redeemed by Christ and your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).  Before you leave your house tomorrow and before you go shopping again, ask the Lord to examine your heart and motives. If you wear that outfit, what message would you be sending about your heart and values?

I want to hear from you, please comment or email me.

Love always,

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

One dress, Infinite ways!

   When it came time to find the perfect dress for my bridesmaids, I had several things in mind; it had to be affordable, it had to be floor length & elegant, it had to be comfortable and it had to make all my bridesmaids happy and feel beautiful. Now I know what your thinking, that's impossible right?! How can one dress make five girls of all shapes and sizes happy? Not to mention be affordable and meet all my requirements. I had my work cut out for me! 
   I came across the infinity wrap dress while looking through some bridal magazines and after watching the five minute long video I was sold! One dress, infinite ways! Elegantly made of a pretty viscose-spandex blend and highly customizable to suit each unique body shape and style. It was perfect for my bridesmaids. Perfect for any occasion really.
   I went with the Charcoal Grey Floor Length Infinity Wrap Dress from Etsy. It was only $50 + $25 shipping on Craftingsg ( They all looked so beautiful on my wedding day and I loved the idea that they could wear it again for any special occasion. My bridesmaids wore pearls and nude heels. I was happy that my girls were happy. What do you think?

Monday, August 25, 2014

Girl on Purpose

   Hello beautiful and thank you for stopping by. I felt a little bit nervous about my first post here on Chicly Modest. I wanted it to be perfect (not possible) and I found myself a bit stressed thinking about all the topics there are to chat about. I was reminded through His precious and holy word that I am a child of God and He has given me purpose in being here for this time. Nothing brings me greater peace than knowing who I am in Christ. 
   Have you ever asked yourself "who am I?" or "what is my purpose?", I think we all have at one point. We are often taught who we should not be and what we should not do instead of being taught who we are. Let me be the first to tell you, if you haven't heard it already, that you are a child of God (Romans 8:16) and that you are deeply loved (Romans 5:8). Every detail about you from your laugh, to the color of your hair, from your deepest desire down to all your dimples, freckles, and wrinkles! The Lord has created you and has given you value.
   Ephesians 2:10 states that we are incredible works of art. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we were created in the image of God and Psalms 139 is about how God created us from the time we were in our mothers' wombs and that He created us WELL. I mean how amazingly beautiful is that?! To know that we did not just evolve from a monkey or come from nothing, but rather we were thought of. Individually crafted, knitted and ON PURPOSE. For a purpose.
   Oh if you only knew how significant and valuable you are! I hope that from this day forward, that question no longer lingers in your mind. Be confident about who you are and know that you were given a purpose in being here for this time.
Whether is to share a testimony, talk about something that's been heavy on your heart, asking me to pray for you or just saying hi, I'd love to hear from you!
Please feel free to comment below or email me at